There are many things buzzing around and happening at this moment. For example, taking in my situation now I am typing this at 00:25 in the morning while sitting on the floor during a very warm night. There are still people outside - and the windows are wide open in desperation to coax in some kind of breeze. An hour ago, loud music would still bang on with a live band and drunk cries. Now, the constant traffic is co-dominant with random, Hungarian shouting and car horns. The hum on the laptop I'm borrowing settles into a high pitch, persistant in reminding me that the fan is under pressure to perform perfectly under such weather. Bugs enchanted by an open window and the bright glow of a laptop screen bounce across the roam singing in short croaks. And a gentle, kind whisper of a loved one beside me sleeps soundly.
Then there are the things - seperate, phantom, untouchable things that roar and hum and sing at night so harsh, so long, so loud and bright. Things that cannot be forgotten until they are finished. Things that can be found deep down in dark ground to be dug by hands and spoons in a similiar heat as this night. I am overwhelmed by things.
Yet, though unsettling, things do not cease existance until they are done.
So, I have to settle outstanding university work, move my things to another house, tidy/clean entirely an old house, sort out hometown - house (now over a couple year's worth of undertaking), sort things out financially, start on my new university work, read like crazy, and settle particular things I have been avoiding for quite a while. Those kind of icky things that involve e-mailing or talking face to face. Those in particular, that might not tell you good news no matter how quick you press the word 'send'. How interesting to think, that a short motion by the hand corresponds to pixels and information that can be read and understood by a machine, and by other people. And that this word 'send' is so basic, that I wonder, for the inquiries of appointments and the like, how humanity and time just rolls on, and how things, no matter how tense are simply built into normality. Seeking to be normal. Seeking that the word 'send' never changes, no matter what.
So we feel it's normal to be sending, go through the system, leave the absurdity behind..
I should sleep more.
My first holiday abroad has been quite wonderful, if not completely exhausting. I will be uploading photos if I have any 'good' ones to submit.
'Til then, good night.